Edward's New La Tua Cantantes
by Julia Kearns
Summary: What happens when Edward Cullen finds two new La Tua Cantantes while he is hunting in the form of two overly-hyper twins? What will Bella's opinion on this be? Throw in a gay Jacob and some stripping Volturi and you've got one heck of a story.
1. Meet the Twins

**(Okay, so this is a story that is being written by me and my friend Katie at our sleepovers, generally around the time of three in the morning. So, as you will see, we might be a little sleep deprived.  
Katie: Bring on the reviews and flames! YOU DON'T SCARE ME!! BWAHAHA!! -hums Rocky theme-  
Okay then... Back to what I was saying. This isn't going to be updated as quickly as many others are, due to the fact that we only write it at night during sleepovers, but we hope that the wait will be worth it. Well, onto reading )**

**Disclaimer: We do not own anything in this story except for Izzy and Ella Cygnet, the gayness that is within Jacob (But we don't own Jacob), and the plot. The rest is Stephenie Meyer's, and we are not claiming to be in her in and way, shape, or form.  
Katie: Even if we would like to...**

Edward's New La Tua Cantantes

"Boyce, Gregory." The teacher read off of the list.

"Here." He responded.

"Burke, Billy."

"Yo." He said in a bored tone of voice.

"Cygnet, Ella."

"What? Who? Me? Oh, here." She looked very distracted.

"Cygnet, Izzy."

No reply.

"Ahem…Cygnet, Izzy." He repeated.

Again, no reply.

"IZZY CYGNET!!" He shouted, standing on his tippy-toes to see into the back seats of the school bus to figure out what seat she was in.

"Hmm? 'Sup, teach?" Izzy blinked as her head popped out of the seat.

"I would appreciate it if you would pay attention and respond when your name was called." He said sternly.

"Well, all you did was say my name. You gave no direction to say anything in response," she said acidly back.

"Oh, so you did hear me call your name?" He shot back, smug as he though that he outsmarted her.

"I didn't say that at all. I was just implying that you should give more specific directions when speaking. Of course, your voice is so quiet that maybe you did give them, but I didn't hear them. Speak up a bit, tall man, it's hard to hear from all the way down here." She was then pulled into her seat by her twin sister, Ella.

He glared at her with no response before returning to his role call, giving her an occasional sour look.

"Do you have to be a smartass wherever you go?" Ella asked.

"Yes." Izzy smiled and took out her iPod. She threw a pencil at Ella's head, although this was a wasted effort because of the fact that Ella could catch anything that you threw at her and had aim better than you could believe.

The teacher, Mr. Spatola, finished our busload of students and took his attendance sheet out to the other teachers.

An hour later, every student was accounted for. An announcement came over the speaker that was hooked up inside of the bus that said, "We will now be leaving for our field trip to Seattle, Washington." A cheer erupted from the 350 seniors that were going on the field trip. "Please sit back and enjoy the ride. We will try to make it as comfortable as possible for you."

For the next half an hour, they found this to be untrue. Mr. Spatola sat backwards in his seat, staring at the seniors and making them very far from comfortable. It was as if he dared them to do some 'funny business.'

Ella turned to Izzy, who was staring blankly out of the window. "Izzy, I have an idea on how to liven up this bus ride."

"Hallelujah! I'm so bored!" Izzy turned to her and listened to the plan that Ella had formed. A smile split across her face as she listened. "Genius!" Izzy searched through the pockets of her carry-on for the bus ride and held out two items to Ella. "I think that we're going to need these." Izzy then proceeded to pull out speakers to hook up to her iPod.

**(Bwhaha! What are Ella's plans for the unsuspecting students of the bus? And what are the items that are needed? Dun dun dun! Find out next chapter! It will be coming soon (Only 4.99!) Just kidding.  
Leave us a nice review that will motivate us to update more We have about nine pages written down in a notebook, so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
Julia and Katie.)**


	2. I'm a Barbie Girl

**(Sorry it took me so long to update. I'm lazy And then Katie left I hate school. Well, here's your chapter. It's interesting We do not own the song Barbie Girl.)**

**Disclaimer: We are not Stephenie Meyer! Stop accusing us!**

I'm a Barbie girl. 

The sound of a car pulling up flowing out of the speakers is the first thing that alerted Mr. Spatola of the 'funny business' that was about to occur. The next was Izzy and Ella rising out of their seat.

Izzy looked completely unlike herself…and yet, it fit her. She had obnoxiously large pink glasses balanced on the bridge of her nose. The lenses magnified her already large brown eyes, so she had the appearance of an innocent. Her long hair was put up into a ponytail on the side of her head, giving her the look of a 'valley girl.' Her lips were painted a bright hot pink. Ella had cut one of her straps on her t-shirt and then retied it, and it rested right below her shoulder. A large pink bubble blew out of her mouth before she popped it and then continued chewing her gum.

Ella looked ridiculous. They had borrowed Billy Burke's hat, so Izzy had put Ella's hair into a bun and then covered it with the tight black skater hat. She also appeared to have the kind of lines that were made by face paint that football players wore, but it made out of Izzy's purple sharpie. They had replaced her rainbow shirt with a plain black one, so she looked quite a bit like a guy, if not for her feminine looks. Her mouth opened as she faced Izzy, looking out of her dark black sunglasses.

"Hiya Barbie!" She said with a voice that was an octave lower that her regular one.

"Hi Ken!" Izzy replied with a voice that was an octave higher that her regular one.

"You wanna go for a ride?" Ella smirked as they talked along with the music emitting from Izzy's iPod.

"Sure, Ken!" Izzy sounded ridiculous. Mr. Spatola's face purpled.

"STOP THIS RACKET AND SIT-" He started, but was cut off by Ella.

"Jump in!"

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

Ella smirked as she sung her part as Ken.

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party_

Izzy was really getting into the music as she danced with Ella and sang.

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

Mr. Spatola tried to get up and walk over to the two girls, but was blocked by the laughing, dancing, seniors in the aisle. He started yelling, but couldn't be heard over Izzy's singing.

_I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world_

_Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie_

_You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain_

_Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky_

_You can touch, you can play_

_You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

Izzy and Ella smiled as the part where they sang together came up.

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please_

_I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees_

_Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again_

_Hit the town, fool around, let's go party_

_You can touch, you can play_

_You can say I'm always yours_

_You can touch, you can play_

_You can say I'm always yours_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

Mr. Spatola tried pushing the seniors out of the way to reach the twins, but nobody budged. His inaudible yelling continued.

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_(Barbie Girl- Aqua)_

The seniors cheered and Mr. Spatola was overwhelmed as the bus stopped and the students poured out of the door to avoid his wrath. Izzy and Ella sneaked past him, surrounded by a group of their friends.

They high-fived and were congratulated by their fellow peers ("Wow! That was awesome!" "Amazing!" "Do it on the way back, too!"). They got their room assignment from a parent chaperone and started walking toward their hotel, just as the parent told them to.

Izzy looked at Ella with a gleam in her eye as she wiped the lipstick off her mouth with her thumb and index finger. "Look at that motorcycle dealership. I can almost see Jacob walking into there."

Ella smiled. "I wish Twilight was real. We have the closest hotel to Forks, too." She sighed and stuck her hands into her pockets. "Meeting Edward Cullen would be amazing." She stuck the card into the door and opened it.

Izzy sighed. "And totally impossible. Although, my imagination still runs freely…" She smirked and then sat down onto the golden comforter of the bed closest to the window. "Even though I hate Jacob, seeing him would be cool."

"So, we're supposed to stay here until tomorrow, right?" Ella asked, looking out at the pitch-black and rainy sky.

"Yeah. We'll do our 'activities' tomorrow. I shudder to think of what things they came up with." Izzy chuckled darkly.

Ella sighed. "We should get a good night's sleep then."

They both changed into their pajamas; Ella in a t-shirt and sweat pants and Izzy in wooly sheep pajamas. Ella raised an eyebrow, but Izzy just shrugged.

They both climbed into their separate beds and stared at the popcorn ceiling. It was quiet until Izzy interrupted the silence.

"You know, if Bella was real, I think that she'd look exactly like us."

"You're joking." Ella sighed. Izzy mentioned this topic a lot.

"No, I'm not. Look at her descriptions in the book and on Stephenie Meyer's website. It sounds like us. Really." She looked deep in thought.

"Right," Ella said sarcastically, "Now all that we need is an Edward Cullen."

Izzy went quiet for a while. Ella thought that she fell asleep, so she too drifted into slumber. Izzy wasn't really sleeping. She was staring out of the window. A light flickered outside of the motorcycle dealership. She focused in on the Rabbit that was pulling into it and then onto the gangly teenager (Was he a teenager? He seemed so big…) that walked out of it. He looked way over six feet tall, and Izzy knew that she'd look like a child compared to him. His long, black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there were many grease stains on his light blue jeans.

"No…" Izzy whispered. She tried to deny it, but the feeling in her gut was strong. This person was _Jacob Black._

**(Cliffy! Review and I'll update faster I'll see you guys soon...)**


	3. To Steal, or not to Steal?

**(Hey guys! We have 52 hits! Wow! We have 5 reviews though…hum. Thank you for reviewing! We smile every time that we see them. We love to see what you think about our writing. Please, don't steal our idea. We thought of it ourselves (at 3 in the morning..) and don't want anybody taking credit for it as theirs ( I've already looked up La Tua Cantante on the search bar, and nothing like our story popped up. So, please and thank you )**

**Katie: I STILL SEE NO FLAMES!! BRING IT ON!! I'LL EAT YOU ALL!**

**Calm down, Katie…**

**Katie: I WILL EAT YOU!!**

**…**

**Okay! So, go watch the Twilight teaser trailer!! YES!!**

**/watch?vhYhTn0U2jYU**

**WATCH IT, SUCKA!)**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight. **

**Edward: -cough-**

**Katie: EDWARD! -faint-**

**Julia: -puppy dog eyes- Yes?**

**Edward: We talked about this. What else?**

**Julia: Ooo, I love when you talk about when we're **_**alone, **_**talking.**

**Edward: JUST SAY IT!!**

**Julia: -sigh- We don't own Twilight or any of the characters, except for Izzy and Ella. We don't even own the people that we called for role call. If you didn't notice, they were names from the cast of the Twilight movie. Whee!!**

**Edward: Good muffin.**

To Steal, or not to Steal?

"Ella!" Izzy hissed, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"Ugnnn…" Ella's eyes flickered open, but then shut. Izzy narrowed her eyes and pushed Ella out of the bed.

"Wake up!" Izzy changed out of her pajamas and into jeans, striped pink and black socks, a black Ramones t-shirt, pulled on her black converse, and pulled on her black and white polka dotted headband after quickly running a brush through her hair.

Ella looked disoriented on the floor, and then, seeing Izzy's haste, got to her feet. "Where's the fire?" She slurred.

Izzy quickly pointed out of the window and straight at Jacob's hulking figure two stories below them. Ella looked out to where Izzy was pointing, and then all traces of sleepiness left her, adrenalin quickly replacing it. "No… It can't be…"

Izzy bounced on her heels as Ella scrambled to get dressed. "It is! It has to be!" Jacob opened his trunk, and two shiny motorcycles were sitting in the trunk. She had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming. "ELLA!!" Ella jumped a foot into the air; she was pulling on dark jeans with a long rip that she had sewn back together.

"What?!" Ella looked annoyed as she pulled on her short, black socks.

Izzy looked as if she was going to have a seizure. Her entire body was twitching, and she was pretty much running in circles and babbling. "It has to be him! He looks just like Stephenie says! And his Rabbit! HE BUILT THAT! OH MY CARLISLE! **(Hehe. This is what I say instead of 'Oh my god!') **Guess what's in the trunk!! NO!! I'LL TELL YOU!! THE TWO MOTORCYCLES!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! IT JUST _HAS_ TO BE HIM!!"

Ella smiled and then walked over to the door, Izzy following her quickly. She peeked through the door, and felt a slight resistance. "Damn!" She quietly closed the door.

"What?? What?!" Izzy looked frazzled. She carefully opened the door, and saw what the problem was. Tape. The seniors from last year had warned them of this. The teachers put a few pieces of tape over the doors, and if they were broken when they checked, it meant that the seniors had snuck out. "Damn."

Ella thought for a moment before going to the window. She opened it all of the way and then looked down; only two stories. She grabbed the pillows and blankets off of both beds, and, as Izzy watched with inquisitive eyes, threw them straight down. Izzy's eyes widened as Ella soon dropped after them. "Ella! What are you doing?!" She cried softly, running to the window. There was Ella, sitting comfortably on the pile of blankets and pillows. Good thing that the hotels put so many on their beds.

"Come on!" Ella said, smiling.

"Are you crazy?! I'll kill myself!" Izzy stared at her twin, the one who had known her since she was born. Had she gone crazy? Or did she suffer from short memory loss? Did she for get the fact that Izzy tripped over everything? Ella wasn't as bad, but still…

"I'll catch you." Ella put on a mocking smile and then held her hands out, gesturing her to jump. Izzy shot her a glare, and then swung her legs out, so they swung into the darkness with nothing supporting them…

"Ella?" Izzy whispered.

"Yes?" She held her hands out farther.

"You better not miss." Izzy pushed herself out of the window, and felt her stomach go into her throat. After about two seconds of falling, she made contact with Ella's arms.

"Oof!" They both tumbled into the pile of blankets and comforters.

"Caught you!" Ella smiled brightly, picking herself off of the ground. "Come on!"

Izzy stared at her, and then pulled herself up. She watched as Ella kicked the blankets into the bushes. "Can't have anyone seeing them," she explained. Izzy nodded her head and then pulled out her cell phone.

"Eleven forty-two." Ella nodded and then started for the motorcycle dealership, Izzy following her and regaining her excitement.

"So, do you really think that if Jacob's real, then…" Izzy started. Ella thought about that. If Jacob was real, was Edward?

"Maybe… If he was, then we'd have to get to Forks." The crept closer and hid behind the Rabbit, watching as Jacob talked to the salesman.

Izzy's dark eyes blazed in the darkness. "Ella… I know a way to get there. Do you still remember those motorcycle lessons?"

Ella nodded, knowing that Izzy could see her. Was she about to say what she thought?

"Ella, I think that we should steal his motorcycles."

**(Woot! Another cliffy! I'm sorry for that. It's getting good! We're having fun with this… Review for a faster update!! Hurrah!!**

**Katie: BRING IT ON!! WOOT!!)**


	4. I'm Gonna Eat Choo!

**(Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to updating in a while. This is going to be interesting. I'm putting this chapter in Jacob's point of view! WHEE!! Wow, we're hyper.**

**Who saw the movie poster and trailer for Twilight?! GO WATCH IT!**

**The Host was amazing. Really. Read it.**

**Katie: I'll cry. Really. I'll do it.**

**Okay, you heard her. Don't make her cry. **

**And by the way- HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Ooo! I pulled a Doctor Seuss! Rhymes... Whee! Okay then… I'm just gonna, you know… start the story! Enjoy!)**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything except for Izzy, Ella, the scary salesman, and the Red Racin' Cherry Tastin' Ricochetin' Not-Baby-Playin' 123013049587! Whee! You'll see it in a few minutes :)**

**Second Disclaimer: Well, because I wrote this before and don't want to wait…**

**Disclaimer: We're not Stephenie. Does it look like our names are Stephenie?**

**Edward: No, it doesn't.**

**Julia: Really? Well, that's because I think I'm more of a Bella.**

**Katie: We have the brown hair, too! -flutters eyelashes-**

**Edward: -sigh- **

**SQUEA!!**

Jacob's point of view

I drove my _darling_ Rabbit into a motorcycle dealership. I had hoped that it wouldn't come to this, but because Bella decided to stay with the lee- er, Edward-, I didn't want to have too many reminders of her. I have enough already. I stepped out of my car and shut the door. A salesman was standing there, his expression changing from confused to terrified from my appearance. I tightened my ponytail and walked over to him, my hands clasped behind my back.

"Hello!" The salesman dropped his expression when he saw the two shiny motorcycles in my trunk when I opened it. "I see that you are interested in motorcycles!" No, really? My amazing ears picked up a small _thud_ in the background, like something falling from a great height, but I ignored it. Probably some animal...

"May I interest you in our NEW prototype?" It seemed like a question, but he said it as more of a demand. The little man walked (waddled) over to me and grabbed my hand (he was strong!). He pulled me over to a small and pathetic looking motorcycle and started babbling, not letting me get a word in.

"Yes, this is her! She's not much of a looker, but…" He smiled and talked at hyper-speed. Gosh! He talked as fast as those bloodsu- er, vampires!

"Yes, well, I'm not buying-" I started, but he cut me off.

"The Red Racin' Cherry Tastin' Ricochetin' Not-Baby-Playin' 123013049587! **(Try saying that five times fast! No, that's not a real motorcycle, for you slower people! I threw a bunch of funny sounding words together!) **She's hot off of the market! You want her? It's only 239,857,230!"

This guy was insane! First, he won't even let me say that I don't want it, but then he expects me to buy that Red... uhm... Ricocheting...erm... Baby-eating...Thing! How stupid is he? Wait... What's that? Hushed whispers from behind my car? Maybe it's just an animal, but I better check.

"Uhm, sir? I'm selling, not buying..." I mumbled, trying to get my hand back. Wow! His grip is STRONG!

"Selling! Really?! Well, there was this gentleman the other day who was selling. Funny story, actually..." The little man babbled on endlessly as I tugged helplessly on my hand. Then, I heard a noise that made my heart stop for a moment. I heard the sound of a motorcycle starting. I saw the blinding lights as they started to ride away.

**(We were about to end here, but because we haven't updated in a while, we decided to go on!)**

"HEY!" I screamed at the two girls riding away on my beautiful motorcycles. I was going to sell them for big bucks! "STOP AND COME BACK HERE!!"

I was running after them, leaving behind a surprised salesman. I waved my arms around my head as I screamed. Then, one of the girls turned around and looked at me. Woah! Was that Bella? Wait. Why was Bella stealing my motorcycles? And how was there _two_ Bellas? All of a sudden, the girl who looked around at me stopped her motorcycle and turned around in her seat.

"JACOB BLACK!" She boomed, and I scrambled back. "You will turn around, get into your Rabbit, and then leave this place!" My eyes widened. Why should this girl...Bella...be able to tell me, a big bad werewolf, what to do?

"Why should I?" I asked, and then realized my mistake. She turned around and put her hands on her hips.

"Why should you? WHY SHOULD YOU?!" She hopped off of her motorcycle, getting a frantic look from the other Bella. She walked right up to me. I towered over her, of course. I smirked. Why was I afraid? Her eyes narrowed. "What are you smiling at, Jacob Black?" This was the second time she said my name. How did she know it?

"Because of the fact that I am much more frightening than you, little Bella." My smirk became more pronounced.

"Little Bella?" Her hands curled into fists. She stood up on her tippy-toes and then shrieked out the most frightening words that I have and will ever hear in my life.

"I'M GONNA EAT CHOO!"

I jumped and fell over, making a loud _BOOM!_ That little person was scary. She walked away and jumped onto her (my) motorcycle, riding away with the other Bella.

I think I just peed myself.

**(Woot! I loved that one! Didn't you, Katie?**

**Katie: Yees. **

**See? Katie loved it! I hope that you did, too! Review and make us happy . We love reviews! We won't threaten to not update until we get a certain amount of reviews, but they ARE a nice motivation! And we'll give out virtual cookies! EDWARD CULLEN COOKIES! **

**Katie: GIMME!**

**Speaking of Edward, he just **_**might **_**be coming up in the next chapter…**

**REVIEW! -disappears into a cloud of smoke-)**


	5. Author's note, sorry!

**(Hey guys! I feel so horrible. I haven't been able to update in FOREVER! School's been hectic- it's almost over! YES!!**

**Katie: -does happy dance- SQUEA!**

**Okay. I'll be updating very soon! When summer comes, it'll go a lot smoother- me and Katie can have more sleepovers! Yay sleepovers!**

**Remember who might have an appearance in the next chapter!**

**I'm writing now, so stay tuned!**

**THE JULIA AND KATIE SHOW, SHOW, SHOW!**

**Couldn't resist, sorry.)**


End file.
